For the girl with no girlfriends
I am a girl.... with no girlfriends. Not no girlfriends, but very few. Welcome to the party!
Don't get me wrong I do have a few close friends and get along with them swimmingly, but in high school I realized I am not a girls girl. This doesn't mean I don't like girly shit, just girls themselves I'm not a fan of usually. It also doesn't help that I have the personality of an 18 year old boy so I don't always fit in with the lady crowd, and at times it can feel lonely.
As I've grown up my lady friend group has dwindled to a total of about 5 close friends, and 5 is on a busy week. I've learned that part of my issue is I hate the bullshit, and ladies lets be honest we love the bullshit. Guys just tend to be more honest and straight forward about shit especially when they're not trying to get in your pants.
My unconventional ladylike attitude, has led me to the role of " just one of the guys". As life progressed this came with it's own challenges. I've lost many guys friends to ladies... either a jealous girlfriend or to the prospect of getting laid on a semi regular basis. Getting laid 1, drinking buddy 0. Or girlfriends trying to get the "down low" on their men. This has been difficult to deal with, especially during my early 20's. When my man and I got together, I got the best of both worlds a man and a group of friends, what else could I ask for! But, that euphoric state didn't last long.
When I got married it was the first time in my life I thought WOW I have no friends. Not no friends, but hell I had to get a bridal party together and I was tempted to ask my random 85 years old neighbor if she could step in. I knew I had friends, the guys, but after going to weddings with bridal parties of 8+, I struggled to gather enough ladies to match my husbands 4 closest friends (yeah 4 was hard for him, in a, I have to make cuts kinda way). Thank god he has a sister! I slowly felt my life turning into the movie I Love You Man, great movie, but not exactly the movie I want my life to parallel. I started to think, oh god, I don't have friends or maybe I'm not trying hard enough, but then I realized. All I need are my few girls, my ride or die friends and my 85 year old neighbor of course. They are better than a bunch of rando acquaintances, I have nothing in common with.
Now there are nights I can't stand the guys and nights when all the couples are together and I feel forced to have the same conversation with the other women, always ending with a "We should totally get drinks sometime", knowing very well it's just the pleasantries we go through as humans. But, it's all a part of life. I don't think we are always meant to feel like we fit in, whether we have a bunch of girl friends or not.
There is not advice to this post, just a trusting voice. Letting you know that there are girls out there who don't have the 15 deep squad. And it's okay if your girlfriends consist of a handful of bad-ass ladies. It's also okay to feel sad when things like weddings or bachelorette parties come up and you feel like you don't have many people in your life! You're amazing and so are your girlfriends, no matter how many there are!
Comment below if you like what your reading! Check out my Instagram izzababy9 as well!
Don't get me wrong I do have a few close friends and get along with them swimmingly, but in high school I realized I am not a girls girl. This doesn't mean I don't like girly shit, just girls themselves I'm not a fan of usually. It also doesn't help that I have the personality of an 18 year old boy so I don't always fit in with the lady crowd, and at times it can feel lonely.
As I've grown up my lady friend group has dwindled to a total of about 5 close friends, and 5 is on a busy week. I've learned that part of my issue is I hate the bullshit, and ladies lets be honest we love the bullshit. Guys just tend to be more honest and straight forward about shit especially when they're not trying to get in your pants.
My unconventional ladylike attitude, has led me to the role of " just one of the guys". As life progressed this came with it's own challenges. I've lost many guys friends to ladies... either a jealous girlfriend or to the prospect of getting laid on a semi regular basis. Getting laid 1, drinking buddy 0. Or girlfriends trying to get the "down low" on their men. This has been difficult to deal with, especially during my early 20's. When my man and I got together, I got the best of both worlds a man and a group of friends, what else could I ask for! But, that euphoric state didn't last long.
When I got married it was the first time in my life I thought WOW I have no friends. Not no friends, but hell I had to get a bridal party together and I was tempted to ask my random 85 years old neighbor if she could step in. I knew I had friends, the guys, but after going to weddings with bridal parties of 8+, I struggled to gather enough ladies to match my husbands 4 closest friends (yeah 4 was hard for him, in a, I have to make cuts kinda way). Thank god he has a sister! I slowly felt my life turning into the movie I Love You Man, great movie, but not exactly the movie I want my life to parallel. I started to think, oh god, I don't have friends or maybe I'm not trying hard enough, but then I realized. All I need are my few girls, my ride or die friends and my 85 year old neighbor of course. They are better than a bunch of rando acquaintances, I have nothing in common with.
Now there are nights I can't stand the guys and nights when all the couples are together and I feel forced to have the same conversation with the other women, always ending with a "We should totally get drinks sometime", knowing very well it's just the pleasantries we go through as humans. But, it's all a part of life. I don't think we are always meant to feel like we fit in, whether we have a bunch of girl friends or not.
There is not advice to this post, just a trusting voice. Letting you know that there are girls out there who don't have the 15 deep squad. And it's okay if your girlfriends consist of a handful of bad-ass ladies. It's also okay to feel sad when things like weddings or bachelorette parties come up and you feel like you don't have many people in your life! You're amazing and so are your girlfriends, no matter how many there are!
Comment below if you like what your reading! Check out my Instagram izzababy9 as well!
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