Wedding Dress Shopping: Don't let them fool you!
So I was thinking about what my next post would be on and I kept finding myself coming back to wedding dress shopping. I have to say, I wish I knew then what I know now.
Let me start with the fact that this was just my experience and not everyone will have the same problems I had, but if you even start to feel the way I felt just know it is okay and your not alone.
Now let's start from the beginning. When I first went wedding dress shopping my mom and I planned a tip to New York and thought "hey, why don't we check out a few spots, it's New York" for god sake how am I not going to find something amazing? Now before going, I looked up styles and inspos on pintrest ect. At the time I was determined I would wear a lace dress just like Nicole Richie. I was going for a chic bohemian vibe and there was NO WAY I was going to wear a traditional gown. I just never fancied myself in something simple because no one expected it. I was nontraditional in every sense of the word and I quickly learned that the "all lace" look, looked horrible no matter what designer, shade or type of lace I tried on.
Everything about the wedding experience for me went smoothly except the dress. I put to much pressure on myself and the experience and I learned late in the game that not everyone is the same and you need to just relax! As I look back, between the arguments and internal struggle I had could have all been avoided, if I just opened up my scope of what might look good, not what I was "supposed" to look like.
Five tips I have for a new bride... now these have nothing to do with finances or body types. These are the emotional tips few pass on to a new bride.
Tip #1: Don't pidgen hole yourself
I had this idea, this look in my mind that I thought would be perfect for me. But, if you haven't tried on tons a gowns you will soon realize what a pain in the ass certain styles are. It never occured to me that lace requires a ton of alterations to fit perfect and even then it doesn't always look the way you imagined.
Tip #2: Try every style
After I quickly learned lace was out, I thought okay well now I will go with the flowy gown. Again, not following rule #1. I then only tried on empire gowns and well they were just too heavy for my taste and again it didn't feel like me. I refused to try on anything else and should have realized this journey wasn't going to be easy if I didn't open up to other brands, styles and silhouettes.
Tip #3: It's okay you don't have " the moment"
After going to 5+ places, having 5+ emotional breakdowns, and at least 3 arguments with my mom, I went into hail mary mode and just tried any other style I hadn't before and landed on the dress. Again, I didn't have a moment, I didn't cry, my mom didn't cry I just finally found something I liked myself in and felt good wearing. You watch these shows and think that's how I am going to feel, that's how I have to feel and then when you don't have that reaction then it must not be right, like something is wrong. It's not wrong and you don't need to have the "moment", your no lesser a person if you don't and honestly it's too much pressure to put on yourself to have this type of over the top, emotional response.
Tip #4: It's okay if you start to hate it..
Now, I don't look back hating the experience. But, when I was at my lowest I felt like I did hate it. I was arguing with myself, my mom and anyone who thought it should be so easy. I only went with family twice, and I'm glade I only had an entourage a few times because that caused even more stress and pressure. I'd suggest just going with your mom or solo and inviting people later once you've picked "the one". But, even then peoples opinions and judgements add to the stress, in my opinion, of the whole thing and they like what they like. You need to like what you like!
Tip #5: Have a back up outfit
Now you've picked the dress, done the fittings and alterantions. The day is here and holy shit you just want to dance and be able to move, but of course you picked a dress that is heavy or tight and you just don't want to sweat your ass off. I bought a cheap white romper to change in and I'm glad I did. I was able to change when the dancing started and felt like I could let loosen up. I mean, come on it's your wedding day, if you like to dance, let yourself dance! Any friends that are just getting married I always suggest get something you can change into , give yourself the option of comfort. We are women, we torture ourselves for our entire life, at least on one of the "biggest" days of your life let yourself be cute, sexy and comfortable.
I end my post with this, try everything, don't think you'll have some sort of emotional connection to a dress and just enjoy yourself. It only happens once, or twice and you don't want to look back on your wedding experience hatting it just over some fabric!
Let me start with the fact that this was just my experience and not everyone will have the same problems I had, but if you even start to feel the way I felt just know it is okay and your not alone.
Now let's start from the beginning. When I first went wedding dress shopping my mom and I planned a tip to New York and thought "hey, why don't we check out a few spots, it's New York" for god sake how am I not going to find something amazing? Now before going, I looked up styles and inspos on pintrest ect. At the time I was determined I would wear a lace dress just like Nicole Richie. I was going for a chic bohemian vibe and there was NO WAY I was going to wear a traditional gown. I just never fancied myself in something simple because no one expected it. I was nontraditional in every sense of the word and I quickly learned that the "all lace" look, looked horrible no matter what designer, shade or type of lace I tried on.
Everything about the wedding experience for me went smoothly except the dress. I put to much pressure on myself and the experience and I learned late in the game that not everyone is the same and you need to just relax! As I look back, between the arguments and internal struggle I had could have all been avoided, if I just opened up my scope of what might look good, not what I was "supposed" to look like.
Five tips I have for a new bride... now these have nothing to do with finances or body types. These are the emotional tips few pass on to a new bride.
Tip #1: Don't pidgen hole yourself
I had this idea, this look in my mind that I thought would be perfect for me. But, if you haven't tried on tons a gowns you will soon realize what a pain in the ass certain styles are. It never occured to me that lace requires a ton of alterations to fit perfect and even then it doesn't always look the way you imagined.
 |
| One of the first dresses I tried, I soon realized lace was not going to work. |
 |
| One may look at this photo and the rest and say what is she complaining about.. these dresses looked nice, but when you have this idea, this larger than life expectation, nice wasn't cutting it... at the time. |
After I quickly learned lace was out, I thought okay well now I will go with the flowy gown. Again, not following rule #1. I then only tried on empire gowns and well they were just too heavy for my taste and again it didn't feel like me. I refused to try on anything else and should have realized this journey wasn't going to be easy if I didn't open up to other brands, styles and silhouettes.
 |
| This was my cupcake dress, loved, but couldn't imagine myself in this. This was "dress up" for myself. |
Tip #3: It's okay you don't have " the moment"
After going to 5+ places, having 5+ emotional breakdowns, and at least 3 arguments with my mom, I went into hail mary mode and just tried any other style I hadn't before and landed on the dress. Again, I didn't have a moment, I didn't cry, my mom didn't cry I just finally found something I liked myself in and felt good wearing. You watch these shows and think that's how I am going to feel, that's how I have to feel and then when you don't have that reaction then it must not be right, like something is wrong. It's not wrong and you don't need to have the "moment", your no lesser a person if you don't and honestly it's too much pressure to put on yourself to have this type of over the top, emotional response.
Now, I don't look back hating the experience. But, when I was at my lowest I felt like I did hate it. I was arguing with myself, my mom and anyone who thought it should be so easy. I only went with family twice, and I'm glade I only had an entourage a few times because that caused even more stress and pressure. I'd suggest just going with your mom or solo and inviting people later once you've picked "the one". But, even then peoples opinions and judgements add to the stress, in my opinion, of the whole thing and they like what they like. You need to like what you like!
 |
| That face... I remember thinking this looks amazing, but this isn't me, this isn't my look. If only I knew... Also, there were like 100 layers of tulle and my ass was already sweating just staying there. |
Tip #5: Have a back up outfit
Now you've picked the dress, done the fittings and alterantions. The day is here and holy shit you just want to dance and be able to move, but of course you picked a dress that is heavy or tight and you just don't want to sweat your ass off. I bought a cheap white romper to change in and I'm glad I did. I was able to change when the dancing started and felt like I could let loosen up. I mean, come on it's your wedding day, if you like to dance, let yourself dance! Any friends that are just getting married I always suggest get something you can change into , give yourself the option of comfort. We are women, we torture ourselves for our entire life, at least on one of the "biggest" days of your life let yourself be cute, sexy and comfortable.
 |
| Final look... |
I end my post with this, try everything, don't think you'll have some sort of emotional connection to a dress and just enjoy yourself. It only happens once, or twice and you don't want to look back on your wedding experience hatting it just over some fabric!
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